I recently saw the movie, Resilience, and although the movie was a great overview of the ACEs Study about how childhood experiences affect your health all throughout life, what I really took away from this experience happened during the panel discussion after the movie.

One of the panelist who had a very high ACEs score (meaning having a very rough childhood), realized that we are all a “Hot Mess”. None of us has it all together. We all have our “stuff”. That was SO FREEING. I felt my shoulders relax and a smile come across my face.

In today’s culture where we are told to eat this, don’t eat this, eat now, don’t eat now, meditate, go to yoga/Pilates/Crossfit/run/lift weights….. You’d think we all have our sh*t together by now, right? Well, we don’t. As a matter of fact, this constant feeling telling us that we aren’t OK, just adds to being a Hot Mess.

So this is what I’ve learned —

It’s ok to feel sad, lonely, angry, etc…. sometimes.
There’s something to learn there and hopefully you’ll get the message eventually and be able to make changes to feel more happy, etc… but it’s also ok to just feel what you feel. I don’t even recommend Tapping it away in the short run. Just feel. And let it be ok to feel bad sometimes.

It’s all about the learning.
I recently listened to Mindvalley’s Vishen Lakhiani talking about the importance of learning. And I got it. Being human on this planet is a chance to learn and grow. Period. We have ups, downs, etc… but what’s really important is what did you learn and how can you grow from it? We aren’t meant to “figure it all out” or “get our sh*t together”. Can you imagine how boring that would really be? So be ok with the mistakes, blunders, oops! along the way. They are actually gifts when you think about it.

Be more compassionate with yourself and others.
Since we are all a Hot Mess, we need to be more loving and understanding with all of us — yes, even those that we perceive as being on the other political side. Our beliefs are mostly formed in our childhoods and healing our stuff is a lifelong process for most of us, so be more compassionate and understanding with everyone. Especially yourself.

Lastly, give yourself a break and just have more FUN!
Learn, grow, be kind, help others, love lots, be nicer to yourself and just play more. Have fun! Be silly! Laugh more! As the Indigo Girls sing, “It’s only life after all” so just enjoy!